During my college days, I naively thought that getting rich was easy. I believed I could involve my siblings and cousins in various projects, and together we would quickly make a lot of money. Excited about my ‘foolproof’ plan, I shared it with a friend who seemed impressed at first. However, he asked a question that made me think: ‘How do you know your siblings and cousins want to do these things with you?’ His question was a reality check. I realized I had no good answer. After that incident, I didn’t think much about it and forgot everything.
Years passed. I graduated from college, started working, and surprisingly, got a girlfriend. While talking with her, I excitedly shared details about a website I had been developing. At first, she seemed as excited as I was. But when I called it ‘my website,’ her attitude changed. She pointed out my choice of words, saying, ‘So it’s yours.’
I hadn’t meant to sound possessive with the word ‘my,’ but I realized something important. When you put your heart and soul into making something from scratch—a website, a business, a product, or even a service—it becomes a part of you. It’s natural to feel a sense of ownership and connection, like taking care of a child. However, this close bond is hard for others to understand, including family, friends, or a romantic partner. They may appreciate your work, but they can never truly understand how deeply connected you are to what you’ve created.
After I mentioned ‘my,’ she lost interest in the website, and I stopped sharing updates with her. She didn’t share my enthusiasm for the site, which was meant to connect with like-minded people and explore unique ideas. It became clear that this dream of creating a functional website was mine alone. Similarly, when I asked my sister, who has a Master’s degree in science, to write blogs, she wasn’t interested either. I realized that we value and connect more deeply with things we create ourselves, much like caring for a garden we’ve grown.
Reflecting on such instances, I realized that dreams are inherently personal. Despite our closest relationships, others may not fully understand or share our aspirations. This led me to see that pursuing our dreams is an individual journey. No one cares about your dreams as much as you do.
The Impact of Our Dreams on Ourselves and Others
Our dreams often affect those around us, influencing their behavior and perceptions. For instance, if someone dreams of becoming a doctor, their parents might invest significant effort to support that goal. In this case, the dream of becoming a doctor becomes intertwined with their parents’ aspirations. They envision a secure future, happiness, a good spouse, financial stability, and pride in their child’s achievement. This shows how individual dreams can also serve as collective aspirations, benefiting not only the dreamer but also their loved ones.
However, realizing collective dreams depends on the dreamer’s willingness and determination. If a dream lacks the potential to positively impact others, it may not garner much attention or support. For example, if you dream of buying a luxury watch but can’t afford it, no one else really gains from that desire. Maybe your younger brother is excited because he imagines borrowing it to show off, but that’s about it. It’s up to you to work hard for it, as others may not understand why you want it so badly.
Should You Share Your Dreams with Others?
When deciding whether to share your dreams with others, it’s important to understand that people in our lives react differently based on their personalities, interests, and closeness to us. Let’s understand the people in your life to decide whether you should share your dreams with them or not.
People Who Do Not Care
Mutual interest is key to realizing our dreams. If others don’t share our enthusiasm or vision, the dream remains ours alone. Sharing your dreams with people who don’t care can demotivate you and cause doubts. When you achieve your dreams, their reactions are often lukewarm, saying things like “amazing,” “that’s nice,” or “good for you.” This shows they don’t really care whether you succeed or not. It’s not much different from not sharing at all, but be cautious if this person is your girlfriend or wife, as she might question, “Why didn’t you share this with me?”
These people can be your friends, family, partners, children, or relatives.
People Who Are Jealous and Insecure
Some people pretend to care about our dreams but are more concerned with their own jealousy or insecurity. They just want to know what you are up to, that is why they pretend that they care. Sharing your dreams with such people can amplify these negative emotions and hinder your progress. They might do or say things that negatively affect your journey. Identify these individuals and avoid sharing your dreams with them. Surround yourself with supportive people instead.
These people can be your friends, relatives, and in some cases, your partners and family.
People Who Care but…
There are people who genuinely care about us and our dreams. These individuals, often family or close friends, have good hearts and find value in our aspirations. However, while they offer support, the responsibility for achieving our dreams falls on us. The dreamer must work hard to realize their dreams; no one else can do the work for them.
Keep Your Dreams to Yourself Until the Time is Right
No matter how close someone is to you, they have their own unique perspectives, beliefs, desires, and goals. Because of this individuality, they can’t fully empathize with your dreams and experiences, especially if your dream isn’t part of a shared goal. Ultimately, our dreams belong to us alone. If everyone were involved in achieving them, we would lose the personal joy and challenge that make reaching our dreams so rewarding.
Sharing your dreams with the wrong people can lengthen your journey to success. Therefore, it’s wise to keep your dreams private and work diligently on your own or with trusted allies. Once you’ve made progress or achieved a milestone, then it’s appropriate to share your journey and accomplishments with others.
Closing thoughts
There are times when people may not initially support your dreams, but once you achieve them, they might want to be part of that reality. If these individuals happen to be your family or loved ones, and their requests are reasonable or not too demanding, it’s okay to let them share in your dream. For instance, suppose you aspire to buy a car, and initially, people didn’t know how to support you. However, once you purchase the car, they might ask for a ride or seek your guidance on driving. In such cases, it’s acceptable unless they start taking advantage of your car or treating you like a chauffeur without your consent. The key is understanding boundaries.
Ultimately, the journey toward your dreams is a personal one. It requires dedication, perseverance, and hard work. As you strive toward your goals, remember that your efforts will pave the way to where your dreams await. Keep working diligently, and you’ll find yourself reaching the destination you’ve always envisioned.
