These days, many people choose not to have children, and some of them have valid reasons for doing so. For example, some suffered as children themselves or witnessed their parents’ struggles and do not want to pass this struggle to their children.
Others feel the world is too harsh and uncertain, making it unwise to bring children into it. Some are not in a financial position to support a child. Sometimes, one partner doesn’t like children due to the additional responsibility and potential impact on their lifestyle and sex lives.
Additionally, some partners have a fear of childbirth. While the reasons for not having children are worth discussing, this blog will focus on important considerations for couples planning to have children.
First of all congratulations that you are contemplating having a child because these days this thought does not seem as progressive or nice especially among people who are too much into pop culture and trends. But before you bring the child into this world then you have to consider a few things because it is important for the baby.
Things Couples Do and Questions They Ask Themselves Before Bringing a Child into the World
Do You Love Each Other?
This is the number one question every couple should ask. Sometimes partners think that bringing a child might save their relationship, but it often makes the situation worse. We’ve all seen families where children are born to parents who don’t love each other and stay together due to family or societal pressure, which can be harmful to the child.
If you or your partner don’t love each other, bringing a child into this world is not a wise decision. It can lead to bitterness and conflict, which the child will eventually witness.
Children need love, respect, and care, not parents who are constantly fighting. If the love in your relationship is decreasing, you are not in a position to have a child. Love usually does not return once it has faded, and this will only bring sadness and misery to the child’s life.
However, if there is genuine love between the partners, it ensures that they will stay together and provide a nurturing environment for their children. Parents who love each other and their child create a more stable and loving atmosphere, which is crucial for the child’s growth and development.
Where Are You Living?
The environment where you live plays a crucial role in your children’s development. A well-chosen neighborhood can offer them a safe and positive place to grow up, with access to good schools, healthy social interactions, and minimal crime.
Conversely, living in a less desirable area can expose your children to negative influences and potential risks. If you feel unsafe or unhappy in your current neighborhood, it can affect your ability to provide a nurturing environment for your family.
Therefore, it is important to consider relocating to a better neighborhood if your current one is not ideal for raising young children.
Can You Afford to Have a Child?
Affording a child is a crucial consideration for young couples. Before starting a family, it’s important to assess whether you can manage the financial responsibilities involved. Raising a child incurs significant costs, including delivery, medical expenses, food, clothing, toys, and education.
Ensure that you’re financially prepared to handle these expenses before making the decision to have a child. If you’re unsure about your financial readiness, it might be wise to delay starting a family until you’re more secure.
Additionally, consider whether you can save for your child’s future needs. Beyond the immediate expenses, think about long-term costs like college tuition and other future demands that will arise as your child grows older.
It’s important to set aside money for these needs rather than relying on loans, which should be avoided if possible. If you’re able to save for both your child’s current and future expenses, it’s a good indicator that you’re ready to start a family.
Being financially prepared ensures that you can provide a stable and secure environment for your child, giving them the best opportunities for a bright future.
Are You Ready to Change Your Lifestyle?
Life changes significantly when you become a parent. Unlike single life or the early stages of marriage, parenting introduces new responsibilities and challenges.
The honeymoon phase of marriage eventually ends, and it’s important to consider how you’ll handle the transition. Some couples may seek new partners rather than embracing the next phase of marriage, which is parenthood.
Parenting requires a major shift in priorities. You’ll need to invest time and energy into caring for your child, even in difficult situations. This includes playing with them when you’re tired, handling diaper changes, bathing them, and taking them to doctor’s appointments.
If you’re ready to make these adjustments and sacrifices for your child, it’s a good indicator that you’re prepared to start a family.
Being mentally and emotionally ready to embrace parenthood, in addition to being financially prepared, ensures that you can provide a loving and supportive environment for your child’s growth.
Can You Sacrifice Your Sex Life?
Now, this might sound a little controversial to many of you because, in Western countries, it is not common to sacrifice one’s sex life for children.
We often see 40-50-year-old celebrities, both male and female, with new partners or marrying multiple times, even when they already have children from previous marriages.
I want to share an Eastern Hindu philosophy regarding marriage, where the primary purpose of married life is to start a family. If you marry young, it’s natural to have a romantic phase, with frequent intimacy.
However, once you start a family or enter your late thirties, I believe it’s important to shift your focus away from constant sexual pursuits. This change in perspective acknowledges that you are now parents, not a young couple constantly seeking sexual excitement.
If you understand and accept that it’s okay to sacrifice your sex life, it’s a good sign that you are ready for parenthood. It means you recognize that sex becomes less important as you fully embrace your role as parents, especially when you decide you have enough children and don’t want more. At this stage, the desire for frequent sex should naturally diminish.
Human nature often drives us to seek multiple partners to spread our genetic material, particularly in men. Modern media and some celebrities even promote open relationships or infidelity, but this often leads to dissatisfaction and frustration. True happiness in parenthood comes from focusing on family rather than constant sexual exploration.
If you can clearly accept that sex is more significant for younger individuals and not as crucial for those in their late thirties or early forties, then you are ready to become a parent and have a baby.
Conclusion
Deciding to have children is as much about personal readiness as it is about practical considerations. Beyond love and finances, think about your long-term goals and how parenting fits into them. Consider your values, the legacy you want to leave, and how having a child aligns with your life’s purpose.
Parenthood isn’t just about managing day-to-day tasks; it’s about shaping a future and contributing to the next generation. If you find alignment between your personal goals and readiness for parenthood, you’re setting a strong foundation for a fulfilling family life.
